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The Honest Truth

9 Jul

When I was younger I felt like I could only write when I was sad. My journals were filled with all of the horrible things I was feeling inside. This kind of darkness made everyone around me uncomfortable. I stuck out like a sore thumb. I felt everything so deeply. I wore my differences on my shoulder like a badge of courage.

As an adult I have trouble writing if I am not happy. I mostly attribute this to the fact that my voice has changed. Instead of feeling morose I make most everything into a joke. Laughter is my biggest ally.

This mostly works for me because I would say that I have very rare bouts of sadness. Even when things are tough, and right now I would certainly classify things as “tough”, I can find the silver lining.

But for some reason this “tough” period has left me paralyzed with the inability to write. I know I am writing right now, this very second my fingers are gliding over my keyboard forming words and sentences.. but it really isn’t the same as wanting to write… or even feeling like I NEED to write. I am just writing because it has been a while and I wonder if my readers wonder what is going on.

Unfortunately I am not up to telling my followers the nitty gritty of what is happening in my little life… at least not right now. I will tell you that I am in a period of transition. A transition I certainly didn’t ask for, but that my friends is life.

But don’t take this break from blogging as a sign that I have been defeated.. because that is far from the truth… I know now – without a doubt – that no one is capable of stealing my joy.. even if it takes a vacation every now and then.

Confessions of a Gemini


Bad Hair & Adult Friendships

17 May

Last week my gorgeous cousin, Caroline, graduated from the University of Georgia and her recent accomplishment got me thinking about my own post-college experiences.

I graduated from the University of South Carolina in 2008 with a Bachelor of the Arts in Journalism and Mass Communications and unlike my brilliant cousin Caroline – jobless. Finding a job had proved to be more difficult than I had hoped  (as I am sure most people who graduated in 2008 would agree)  because that is when the economy tanked. So I did what many 08′ grads did and moved back in with the parents. 

Finding a job was hard but finding friends as an adult was a different animal all together. Making new friends as an adult is hard work.

In college you make new friends everyday. You meet them in your classes, dorm, or extra curricular activities.. you are always experiencing new things so you are always meeting new people. After college you settle down in a sense. Get a job, go to the same places, get stuck in a routine, and you really have to make an effort to meet people.

My first “adult” friend was Natalie. She was also my first “boss” after college. We had a short run together (career wise) but I am certain we will always be friends. I still remember the day we solidified our friendship like it was yesterday…

I think what sealed the deal was when I showed her my driver’s license. My driver’s license in college had an unfortunate picture mostly because I had an unfortunate haircut. She laughed so hard she almost peed herself.

Unfortunately for you I am not in possession of this license because when I became a Georgia resident they took it away from me. However I do have some similar photos.

Exhibit A. -What I looked like when Natalie met me.. looking normal… Cute…and very professional at the Carolina Cup. 

Normal Me, Senior Year

Exhibit B- College Picture. Looking rough…Unsexy… And quite hilarious. Sidenote: I did this to myself so do not pity me. All I can say is people do crazy things when they get broken up with.  Also note the camo, if I  was capable of feeling shame, I would feel it now. 

bad haircut

In July, I will be packing my bags to join my hubby in Greensboro, NC and I will again be looking for adult friends. Unfortunately for me I don’t have a stunning driver’s license picture to do all the work for me… but I think I can handle the challenge.

Confessions of a Gemini