The Honest Truth

9 Jul

When I was younger I felt like I could only write when I was sad. My journals were filled with all of the horrible things I was feeling inside. This kind of darkness made everyone around me uncomfortable. I stuck out like a sore thumb. I felt everything so deeply. I wore my differences on my shoulder like a badge of courage.

As an adult I have trouble writing if I am not happy. I mostly attribute this to the fact that my voice has changed. Instead of feeling morose I make most everything into a joke. Laughter is my biggest ally.

This mostly works for me because I would say that I have very rare bouts of sadness. Even when things are tough, and right now I would certainly classify things as “tough”, I can find the silver lining.

But for some reason this “tough” period has left me paralyzed with the inability to write. I know I am writing right now, this very second my fingers are gliding over my keyboard forming words and sentences.. but it really isn’t the same as wanting to write… or even feeling like I NEED to write. I am just writing because it has been a while and I wonder if my readers wonder what is going on.

Unfortunately I am not up to telling my followers the nitty gritty of what is happening in my little life… at least not right now. I will tell you that I am in a period of transition. A transition I certainly didn’t ask for, but that my friends is life.

But don’t take this break from blogging as a sign that I have been defeated.. because that is far from the truth… I know now – without a doubt – that no one is capable of stealing my joy.. even if it takes a vacation every now and then.

Confessions of a Gemini

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